Cardiology came by today to tell us that Tatum is no longer a surgical candidate. He has too many problems that they can't over look. They are going to talk to all of the other cardiologists and surgical staff in their conference on Wednesday morning to see what they think the best action will be to try and get him turned around. They know we are frustrated and upset that they didn't get him into surgery before all of this chylothorax (that's the right spelling) started showing up. I feel that as cardiologists they should have known that he was a priority and should have gotten him into surgery when he had a chance. They are still trying to be optimistic by telling us that there are some other options they can try but they want to get all the information presented at their conference and many different opinions before they give us all the options. I'm hoping that we still have a chance, but the way the nurses look at me and talk to me I feel as if there is a black cloud hanging over my head. I pray with all my heart that he will get to stay with me, and I am afraid to listen to what the spirit will say in fear that I won't like what it's telling me. I just want to hold onto him any way I can. I don't want him to go. Not like this. They let me hold him today which is totally against protocol since he's got his breathing tube and arterial line in. I'm glad to hold him, but I take that as another bad sign.